The way we view ourselves and our life can have a great impact on happiness. If we can think positively about our daily lives we will find we are happier. We will still face challenges of course but it makes a difference to face them with a positive attitude.
It is difficult to simply remove negative thoughts and feelings but it is possible to build tools to assist you to change your perspective on the challenges you face in life. This means that your response to a situation can be more effective. When you change your perspective about the circumstances you gain new insight that generates even more positive ideas. These creates a happier environment for yourself and people around you. Slowly your challenges start to be overcome, one at a time.
As we get older sometimes life becomes more complicated with tragedies and challenges to face. These things may make you realize also the flip side of how blessed you are. You may also notice that sometimes you have fantasies holding you back from these blessings. All that stuff that goes on in your head creating a negative atmosphere instead of you propelling yourself along in a positive way. You may for example overanalyse a situation so much that your own fantasies create a headache. Especially if you are the type of person who sits and analyses a situation and thinks up all sorts of things that could go wrong. This is one of the types of examples of what needs to change.
These type of fantasies in your head only stress you out. They create a negative atmosphere of ‘if’ and ‘but’ and make you question yourself until your head spins. They heighten your stress levels. And sometimes may even get you angry with others, yourself and even the whole world because you have fantasised certain scenarios that probably will never happen. You may even end up procrastinating to the point of failure. All this you have created yourself by your own mental and emotional agitation. This is the pattern that has to stop. Also when you spend so much time contemplating the things that could go wrong, instead of focusing on the positive you may find that you are missing many of life’s beautiful and peaceful moments. You are creating the very negative world around you that you do not want.
Changing the perspective
The best way to start changing your perspective is to start with one situation at a time. Try to move through your day and practice seeing life as it is without the ‘what if’ fantasies. Stop your head from spinning round with different scenarios. Look more clearly at your life for what it really is and how it really works, without letting those fantasies creep into your head and making you fear the worst. Don’t think about what might happen, could happen, would happen, and should happen. Don’t over think the situation. Be more present and take one step at a time doing the best you can with the situation.
Take a look at what you hold onto that makes your life and environment toxic. Is your life filled with guilt, anger, loss or grief? Are you holding on rather than just letting go? What would happen if you do let go? Is it possible you will clear away some of your toxic past and leave the way open for a better future? Perhaps the things that once meant a lot to you have no longer a good place in your life and it’s time to move on past the pain they are bringing you.
Distractions put a hold on your life
Do you spend your time sometimes in meaningless distractions because the present circumstances are too difficult to face? Sometimes facing what’s happening in our lives seems too hard but if you keep ignoring it then it will not go away. Are your spinning thoughts a distraction in terms of making you handle the situation? Or are you so immersed in the fear of making a mistake by doing the wrong thing and make a mistake anyway because you do nothing? What if you focussed your attention on the present moment and the people in your lives and just did what you had to do? Would it really be so bad? Perhaps not.
Getting help with this
If you are struggling with this then try starting by looking around and being thankful for what’s happening now, for your health, your family, friends and home. It is also good to be thankful for your job, even if its not your dream job, be thankful you have income coming in that helps put food on the table and a roof over your family’s head. Invest 100% into what you’ve got right in front of you and you will find slowly life will begin to change. To help you with these enlist the aid of a professional. Could be a therapist, a counsellor, an NLP practitioner, a hypnotherapist. All these people have different tools to help you stop procrastinating, to move forward, to break those negative head talk habits and to start to look at the wonderful things you have in your life now by focussing on the positive. The more you do this and change the patterns, you will find the negative begins to drop away.